Facebook Permission Are Still Confusing People!
I understand that as an individual you may want to tightly control your privacy.
However, in the world of social marketing we have to make ourselves more visible and contactable than we may intuitively realize if we want others to feel comfortable with us.
Truth be told, this is NOT unique to social media. I grew up in a small mom & pop business and you can bet everyone and their dog knew what I was up to (and small town gossip compares to social media gossip in a big way!)
Frankly, everyone knew everything about our family – including the color of our underwear if they stopped by the house and we had clothing out on the clothesline!
(Some of you city dwellers are having a seizure about now! hehe!)
You either have transparency or privacy. You can’t have it both ways.
Now there is some middle ground, but I’ve just gotten on a soap box topic I didn’t start out to write! LOL!
Transparency vs Privacy
On Facebook, like on all business and social platforms, its important to not only think about what we are/aren’t showing the world, but to really understand how some seemingly innocent settings can make life a hassle for those that want to connect with us!
I’m really not here to argue why you shouldn’t tighten down these settings (you shouldnt! LOL) but to show you where the settings are so you can make an educated decision about them.
Where To Adjust Privacy Permissions on Facebook
You fill find your privacy permission here: Facebook Privacy (must be logged in)
On that page its important to note that they are in three different places: Basic Directory, Sharing (Customize) & Applications. All three of these need paid attention to.
Setting 1: “I am a stodgy old fart and you may only speak when spoken too!”
This is what you say to the world when you disable friend’s ability to post on your wall.
Now I know that leaving it open to even all friends is sometimes pushing your privacy fears but if you put all the people that should logically have the ability to speak TO you on a list, and list them AS SOON AS YOU APPROVE THEM.
You will find this setting under the “Sharing (Customize)” setting and I highly suggest you leave it enabled.
I also make it so that Friends of Friends can SEE the wall but that only Friends can comment on it. Since I use my PAGE as a public profile (and use it a LOT more than my actual profile) I already have a way to openly connect with others that want to leave me a message. (Of course that means that I have the view set to all posts and ANYONE can comment/post there.)
Setting 2: “If I don’t already know you, I don’t want to hear from you!”
Now THIS setting is the one that a bunch of people are setting wrong by ACCIDENT because its not clear what it affects.
Under “Basic Directory” you will see “Send Me Messages”.
Logically, this would apply to the Inbox only…. but it doesn’t.
If you disable this setting, even partially such as using the “Friends of Friends” option you see in the picture below, now there is a big group of people that can NOT include a message with their friend request!
Wonder why you get so many friend requests without messages? The answer may be your settings!
I started running into this extensively when trying to connect with some of the newer members to Tribe Syndication Alliance and realized rather quickly it was because of their permissions!
(Now, it’s worth noting that every so often Facebook has had the whole message system crash and when that happens no one can send friend request messages to anyone, but its rather rare.)
“Friends of Friends” is a workaround if you find that by leaving yourself open to get message from everyone you start getting a ton of inbox spam. However, that is where the avid use of the “block & report spammer” buttons come into play.
You have to weigh, for yourself, which is more important… being free of the need to flag some messages in your inbox as spam… or not being able to know who your connecting with and giving a lot more permissions when you accept a friend request.
For me, its simple… I don’t approve friend requests with out messages… so I have to enable them ALL!
(Yes, I agree that inbox messages and friend request messages should use a separate setting. Feel free to tell Facebook that, they don’t listen to me!)
These certainly are not the only Facebook permission settings you need to be aware of (not by a long ways!) but these are two that can take you from looking like a warm welcoming individual into looking like a stodgy old fart!
The flip side of realizing that these settings may be making us look bad – is to realize they may also be making others look bad. If you find you’re unable to send a message with a friend invite to someone you be looking at someone that has their settings confuzzled! Once you get a friend request through to them, I suggest sending them this post to help them get it sorted out!
Which Facebook permissions do you leave open or restricted and why? What do you feel/think when you encounter people that are not open to you posting a greeting on their wall? Share your thoughts below!
If you found this post helpful I hope you’ll share it with others and spread it around social media! If like me you think there’s a lot of people that need this information please help me out by syndicating it! My twitter, facebook, digg and stumbleupon buttons would love some love! LOL
Make it a great day!